Grad School (again!)

Ok, current thoughts running through my head about the future that is looming (this is mostly for my own benefit so I can sort it all out)

Scenario 1:

• Go full time in summer and fall quarters (15 credit hours in one quarter, 20 in the other) and graduate in December.
• Pros: I would take out less loans/owe less money because I would graduate early.
• Cons:
  
  • My apartment lease goes til September 2010.
  • I would have to get another job (in this job market market) to pay for my rent (etc) since I won't be in school and getting loan/scholarship money to pay for things.
  • I have a low GPA so applying to grad school and actually getting in might be tough.
  • I will be extremely busy trying to balance school and studying/taking the GRE while also working.

Scenario 2:

• Go full time this summer and fall (15 and 15), but stay for winter quarter and take education/student affairs classes.
• Pros:
  
  • Could further raise my GPA
  • Taking education/student affairs classes could show potential universities that I really am interested in the program/have experience.
  • Wouldn't have to worry about getting a job outside of school (at least for another 2.5 months while in school)
  • Would give me more time to get experience and references.
• Cons:
  
  • Taking out that extra money isn't the best idea. I already have student loans up to my ears and adding to it sucks.
  • Would still be forced to sublease or pay out of pocket for my apartment if I got into a summer graduate program, or still required to get a job for the remaining months til Fall semester would start (assuming I get into a program)

This seems so simple, right? I have tons of pro's for scenario 2 and tons of con's for scenario 1..so really, I should pick scenario 2. I think a lot is going to depend on my financial situation next year as well.

Next..

How do I go about choosing what school I want to go to/apply to?

It sucks because I know I will not get into OSU's program, unfortunately.
Reasons: OSU is a giant research institution and has specifically pointed out that they prefer non OSU undergrads for their graduate programs. They want to take students from other schools (who are the cream of the crop) and bring them in, and they want us to go out and do the same at other places. My GPA sucks..plain and simple. I am paying for mistakes I made freshman year (first quarter freshman year, to be specific). Also, OSU's education program is one of the top ranked grad programs in the country..so even with a better GPA it would be iffy.

The other day I was driving in my car and I realized that I cannot imagine ever leaving OSU. I realize I will eventually grow out of this whole college scene..but right at this moment I can't imagine moving away. I feel like my entire life..I have gotten comfortable somewhere and then gotten up and left right as I settled. Now, this has been my decision and I don't regret it at all. Usually, I would say I love doing it. I love going new places and seeing new things..I probably was a navy brat in another life. BUT, I LOVE Ohio State. I cannot even write out how deep my love runs for this university. Everything about it..from the campus to the classes, to the student life and just general opportunities I have gotten here. For me, it fits. I was talking to my advisor last quarter and she asked me if I liked OSU and I got a little teary explaining how much I admire this place. I know that sounds completely ridiculous, but I have put a lot into OSU and I have gotten even more out of it.

So at the moment, I am looking at different schools such as UWF back home, University of Toledo, etc. There are plenty of schools with Student Affairs programs..but none of them are OSU. And sure, I would absolutely go to any school I get accepted to with open arms..but I dread the moment I move away from Columbus. Going back to school's i'm looking at..UWF. There would be definite pro's to moving back home..first would be that my parents will be living back there again so IF I wanted to live at home, I could for free. I also have ties back home too, of course..and its convenient and familiar overall. But..it is such a giant change from the environment here. It is literally completely different in every facet..from the university to the city..to the weather..the people..the attitudes. Can I handle moving back to that? I know I can..but thinking about it now kind of shocks me. I have gotten so accustomed to life here. I know this all sounds so ridiculous..yes I will do what I have to do and I am emotionally and mentally strong enough to handle all of this..but this is more of me spitting out the incoherent and sometimes completely irrational thoughts in my head.

I know this will all work itself out..and maybe I should concentrate on the whole getting into graduate school thing before I even think of this..but my brain unfortunately doesn't work that way. I have the constant thoughts of 'what if's' in my head..Its like a giant tree and each branch sprouts another branch and another. There are endless thoughts and possibilities.